I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
