it's like russian roulette but with a penis
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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