i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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