I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
