We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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