How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
