Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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