Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
