can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Ladies don't puke and tell
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
