dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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