They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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