dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
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you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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