I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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