We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
sex in a hospital.. check
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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