bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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