took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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