and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
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Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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