no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
