Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
