how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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