So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
