"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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