we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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