He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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