i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
