i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
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