Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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