Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
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Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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