You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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