Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
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You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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