Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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