This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
