so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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