I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
