I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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