I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
