he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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