Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
