We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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