I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
