No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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