So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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