is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
3 2 1 whiskey
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
