I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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