Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And then he peed in my hair
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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