i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
