do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
