He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
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i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
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Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i now understand why vodka
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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