First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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