Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
