Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
