im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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