we made out on top of his cat.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
