I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
tell me about the eggs
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