you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
