what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
