You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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