They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
