It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
