dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
