Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
